“My Letter To My Father” 

                                    A few words from the Author

So much of what shapes us happens in our homes as children and adolescents.  We carry these images, stories and experiences throughout our life. 

Many fortunate children are born into loving and supportive homes, and raised by attentive and caring parents.  For others, it is a very different story. 

I am one of those with a “very different story”.  My parents did the best they could – their very best.  And it was woefully inadequate. 

Neglect and abusive behavior were often their only means of functioning, leaving me confused, frightened and ill-prepared for Life.  My mother’s chronic and acute alcoholism affected every aspect of our lives, including her ability to nurture me.  Her words, “Deidre, I’m damn sorry you were ever born.” were spoken as her truth.  Numbing to a twelve year old on the precipice of young womanhood. 

Turning to my father for some measure of support and love often proved ineffective due to his emotional unavailability, and his physical absence from the home due to his employment. 

Lack of siblings and nearby relatives compounded the issue, leaving me to fend for myself in every way, and often finding it difficult to “fit in” with my friends.  For those who have lived this experience, and those similar to it, you will understand exactly what I mean.

But, there is a silver lining to this gray cloud!  For me it came in the form of a series of unexpected events in June of 2009, which caused me to see my father in a completely different light.  I was able to understand his deep personal struggles as a husband and father. 

That understanding grew into forgiveness and acceptance, followed by a sweet love for him.  A great and heavy weight was lifted off my very tired shoulders!  I wrote a letter to him – a kind and loving letter.  And although he has been deceased since I was a young woman, I felt as though he was right there in the room with me, reading each word as I wrote it – my hands shaking, and tears pouring down my face. 

I shared my joy with my friends – all of whom had difficult relationships with their own fathers. 

Every one of those friends came to the realization that it was time to address their own healing.  They each have their stories to tell, and I am happy to have been the starting point for their journey. 

Thus, the idea to publish a book was born, and today the result is “My Letter To My Father”.  

Two of my personal letters to my father are in this book, along with twenty six other letters from people all over the USA, as well as the UK, South Korea and Uganda.

A labor of love, and an arduous trek to be sure – but worth every moment!  This unique book is available here through this website, or through

As a footnote; in October of 2016 I was able to heal my relationship with my mother.  And that is another wonderful story!  Stay tuned for my next book!